It’s a New Normal. ARRRRRRRRRRRRGH! I get it. I have even said it. But like fingernails on a chalkboard, it makes me cringe. The hairs on the back of my neck stand on end and that inner voice that is quick to say or do something I’d regret has to be coaxed and cajoled not to. I’m not critical of the slogans intent. But while life during this covid19 crisis is new, it is most definitely NOT normal.
Relationship
We were created for relationship.
Human beings are created both in the image of God and to be the image of God in relation to the world. We are created in God’s image not as isolated individuals or as a generalized humanity, but as social, relational beings. In a sense, we were made FOR each other.
It is no wonder we social beings are struggling with this ‘new normal.’ Zoom cannot handle the gap.
ISOLATION
Written long before the coronavirus was part of our vocabulary, I read a fascinating article in the New Yorker. It was a powerful critique of the use of solitary confinement as punishment. The article considered various scenarios of isolation. Whether the circumstances were chosen,( such as long-distance sailors), or inflicted (such as for POWs or prison inmates), the sobering conclusion was the same. “Ongoing isolation from other people seems to destroy our very humanity.”
Long-distance sailors spoke of their “soul-destroying loneliness.” A journalist-held-hostage said, “I would rather have had the worst companion than no companion at all”. John McCain, who was held in solitary confinement as a POW said, “It crushes your spirit and weakens your resistance more effectively than any other form of mistreatment.”
ALONE
I’m thankful that I don’t live alone. And even so, this strange isolating time has messed with me. Doug will attest, there are days when I’ll interrupt him, needing a hug. He obliges me and laughs. But, y’all it’s a real thing. My heart is especially heavy for those of you who do live alone. I am so sorry.
Did you know that babies who are not held, nuzzled, and hugged enough can stop growing, and if the situation persists can even die. Umpteen years later as adults are we really that different? Where there is no shared life, a single human life disintegrates from the inside out.
The power of human contact
About two weeks ago I went to the dollar store to buy some graduation decor. Becca was moving home from college and without a ceremony this was my feeble attempt to acknowledge this important milestone. With a heavy heart and wet eyes I perused the greeting cards. Another woman also distraught, was reading the same row of cards. We commiserated as best we could as we stared forward, together. Accidentally she bumped my arm and quickly apologized for “getting in my space.” Jokingly I said, “wow… I touched a human, would you do it again?” We stood erect now looking at each other. Both wearing masks, a perfect stranger and I, locked eyes. “Hi, my name is Debbie. And I don’t know about you, but I could sure use a hug.” Donna, also misty eyed, quietly said, “me too.” And we did it. Right there in the dollar store, two strangers hugged each other.
My Prayer
My fervent prayer is that this is NOT a new normal. Social distancing is not social. Mask wearing handicaps our ability to communicate. And six feet apart makes conversation impractical if not impossible. While I appreciate the requirement to do this temporarily, I think it would be a huge mistake to conclude that we, humanity, can survive well and the way God intended, if this were indeed a new normal.
I wrote this piece before the horrific death of George Floyd and the intense national reaction. Floyds death was unconscionable. But it makes me wonder if the unrestrained violence, hate and anger in general, is exasperated by these very ‘not normal’ circumstances we are living under.
In the meantime
So what do we do in the meantime? We pray of course. But other than that? We wait. And breathe in and out, putting one foot in front of the other. We persevere and look towards the not yet. And this part, the praying and waiting for the not yet, is not new. In fact we may hate it so much because it feels familiar and reminds us of a time when things felt hopeless.
We need Hope
Hope is powerful. I’m not talking about the kind of hope that is nothing more than wishful thinking. The kind of hope that breathes life is the either or hope. Either I hope, OR I’m hopeless. This hope says, I’m out of options and I’m completely NOT in control. This is the hope needed to fight a tough health diagnosis, to persevere after a brain injury, to keep praying for a wayward child, to live in an angry divided nation waiting for the not yet.
Why is it that it takes the either/or kind of hope before we earnestly, passionately and completely turn to God? In my experience, we won’t embrace hope, til we realize we need hope. And we need hope when we come to the end of ourselves.
Romans 8:24, 25 24 For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? 25 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.
Do you want hope?
Ask anyone… do you want hope? Of course, they’ll respond. Sure we want hope. What we resist is the need for hope. We want the up, without the down. But don’t you see it? The down is necessary for the up.
We can’t know good unless we know bad. We can’t know blessing unless we know loss. Christ had to be crucified before He was raised. The ultimate expression of this desperate, all out of options, either/ or hope is Christs resurrection. Our creator God knew that we couldn’t handle being isolated from Him even for a moment. He sent His son to die for us, so we would never have to be. And that becomes our blueprint.
What hope looks like
In the end, this kind of hope looks a whole lot like abiding trust. It keeps our head up when we know… It’s bad. Really bad. It’s really really bad. But I still trust in a God who is greater than how bad this is.
This whole distressing pandemic, all of it, has not caught God by surprise. Soooo… while we pray we wait patiently for the not yet and cling to hope, trusting that ultimately GodsGotThis.
Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Anne kole says
I think we all need hope right now. Hopelessness is all around. In its depth I wonder if our nation will survive. I wonder if I will survive without seeing my kids and grand kids in CA. And yet I do have hope in the God I trust. Every morning as I sit in my patio to read and pray, he sends a robin to joyfully sing the Creator’s praises! God speaks to me through his word and the kindness of friends. He speaks to me through your blog too. Thank you, Debbie. Consider yourself hugged.
debhucke says
A big hug back to you. 🙂 Thank you Anne. Debbie
Sharon Powell says
Thank you Debbie for your weekly postings. Today your devotion and Scripture references refreshes my hope in Jesus Christ along with the hope that comes from waiting with other believers. I feel a little less isolated. Sending hugs your way.
debhucke says
Feeling a little less isolated is a good thing! Thank you Sharon. Debbie
Sheri Barronian says
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13
The verses we hang on to, still. My son suffered a severe TBI in 2012 when he was 17. He is legally blind and has drop foot and many other physical cognitive issues. Without our faith and hope in God we would not be able to put one foot in front of the other. I so love your devotionals. Thanks for being obedient to what God has lead you to do. It blesses many I am sure. Andrea Gray connected me to you. What a blessing you both are.
debhucke says
Oh Sheri…. a very special welcome to you. You… are a kindred spirit. Thanks for your comment. YOU know first hand what it’s like to be all out of options and still cling to hope. A skill learned from the crucible of life. Hold on tight Romans 15:13.
Pam says
Good morning! I hope you feel hugged as you have certainly given me the verbal hug I need to be able to trust more fully in the HOPE that only He provides. God has blessed you with an incredible way to express your feelings and allow us to see ourselves in you!
debhucke says
Amen Pam. Good to hear from you. Thanks for the verbal hug.
Linda Bush says
I am sure you remember what a hugger I am! To be without hugs is a real trial for me. Add to all this that I put my dog to sleep this week. She was sixteen and a real comfort to me but she was getting older and been plagued by blindness and deafness and arthritis. She wasn’t much for conversation but was someone else living and breathing in my lonely too quiet house.
Still I have hope that our loving God will get us through this because he is already on the other side.
Love and hugs to you!
debhucke says
Oh Linda, I am so sorry. I know what a comfort that furr ball was. Prayers for your dear friend. Hears to hugs returning soon!
Dorma says
I don’t think you’ve written on more complicated issues: pandemic, race, and religion! All at one sitting. And all exerting great pressures on all of us. The hardest thing for me living alone is making decisions, even though my sister and I talk through things often. Then on the other hand, living alone perhaps makes me more tolerant of isolation. Double whammy. Praise for Our Father who sustains us through it all.
debhucke says
Isn’t it amazing that our Gracious Lord is not a one size fits all. He meets your needs and meets mine in His unique and sufficient way. Stay the course Dorma. Prayers for endurance.
Glenda Demmie says
You have written so much truth in this article. I can relate to all of it and agree that “isolation is the greatest form of punishment” especially for me, a people person who also needs Hugs both physical and verbal. I’m sending you a hug now and am looking forward to my first real physical hug from two friends when they come to my house tonight for dinner and playing games for the first time in four months. I will use this privilege to thankfully enjoy sharing my gift of hospitality with Hope. and trust God to continue to keep us safe.
Blessings,
Glenda
Glenda Demmie says
You have written so much truth in this article. I can relate to all of it and agree that “isolation is the greatest form of punishment” especially for me, a people person who also needs Hugs both physical and verbal. I’m sending you a hug now and am looking forward to my first real physical hug from two friends when they come to my house tonight for dinner and playing games for the first time in four months. I will use this privilege to thankfully enjoy sharing my gift of hospitality with Hope. and trust God to continue to keep us safe.
Blessings,
Glenda
debhucke says
I too look forward to hugging you Glenda. Enjoy your friends tonight. Debbie
Margie says
I ran into a fellow church member in the grocery store yesterday ( thank goodness we recognized each other in spite of our masks). It was so nice to see a face I haven’t seen in months! Today I got my hair cut and colored and it was so nice to visit with my hairdresser whom I haven’t seen in 3 months. I’m really treasuring these encounters!
debhucke says
Now that Margie, is a silver lining. What we used to take for granted.
Sandi Duval says
Thank you Deb. We have potentially found ourselves in the cross hairs of criminal mischief. Since the unfortunate death of George Floyd, the angry mobs are leaving major cities and driving to smaller communities to destroy. The rural areas are prime targets. We live a new normal now. We now close our drapes and shades, double lock doors, activate alarms and prepare to repel the chaos. I won’t even get into the 6 week old grandson and 3 yr old granddaughter that are 7 miles away. We cannot defend both farms at the same time. We live
on a tranquil 15 wooded acres with 3 large machine sheds with very expensive equipment, seed, electronics, and vehicles. Not to mention the irrigation systems, wells and power boxes that keep all of the crops watered. I have managed to only break down once since the pandemic started.
I have been reading Psalm 91 loudly several times a day. I am imprinting our Lord’s words in my heart. Our Lord knows where we are headed. Cling to Him.
debhucke says
Sandi, Thanks for weighing in. Prayers for your protection. When we don’t know what to pray, praying His word is so valuable. Stay the course. Here’s another one I’ve loved. John 14:33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”