Do you know the story of the strangler fig? During our recent trip to Costa Rica we spent time in the rain forest region where they litter the landscape. These massive ficus trees look intriguing, even beautiful in a mysterious way, but I was fascinated to learn about their insidious development.
The Strangler Fig
Strangler figs are common in dark areas where there’s competition for sunlight. A small sticky seed is dropped by a bird or a bat and becomes lodged in a crevice of an unsuspecting host tree. Roots shoot down surrounding the tree and branches grow above. Contrary to what its name implies, it doesn’t strangle its host. Instead it thrives by growing faster and consuming the hosts resources. Eventually the strangler fig’s large canopy will envelop the older tree blocking it completely from sunlight. In time, the host dies, literally rotting from within, leaving a hollow shell.
This fascinating tree reminds me of this passage in Hebrews.
Hebrews 12: 14,15 Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. 15. See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.
In a sense, the strangler fig is a picture of what this scripture warns against.
Offending/ Being Offended
Have you noticed that in this current climate, we seem to be offending and being offended more than ever?
Just this week while checking out at Trader Joes, I stepped to the end of the counter to add a few items to a partially filled bag in my cart. “Be sure to stay behind the plexiglas the checker scolded with tone.” Yes, the 20” plexiglas that includes a cut out for the credit card machine and separates a masked shopper from a masked checker. I complied. (As if those virus particles are as obedient) But without saying a word, I communicated my offense, no longer chatty, just silent and stewing and impatient to leave the store.
It Wasn’t Just That…
An unfair criticism weighed on my mind and my extensive search for volunteer possibilities for Ian looked bleak, adding fuel to my frustration . (NM Summer camps don’t even want volunteers due to covid restrictions)
Looking back, I see how the small sticky seeds had taken a cumulative toll. More sensitive, it was as if I had a gaping wound and everyone kept bumping into it.
How it all Begins
When expectations are unmet, whether accidental or intentional, we’re frustrated. Just like the sticky seed, at first it seems small and harmless. But as we stew, it becomes lodged. Resentments accumulate. We may chalk it up to just a bad day… but have you noticed how a bad day typically gets worse. We plod through our bad day “on edge” and our sharp tongue invites more frustration. Of course given our bad attitude, no one can see the Lord. Without intention, our heart becomes fertile ground for the bitter root to thrive.
And it doesn’t stop there. When entangled we become emboldened to retaliate or take it out on another unsuspecting soul, spreading the poison. Sometimes we choose to coddle it for a time. We assume it’s not hurting anyone and we can keep it contained. Ha! It doesn’t work that way. As the scripture suggests, a bitter root grows up and causes trouble and defiles many. In other words, it goes viral.
In the end, bitterness doesn’t require much to flourish, just a heart willing to host it and an unwillingness to forgive.
How?
So how do we prevent the sticky seed from growing a bitter root? How do we heed the command to live at peace with everyone? The key is found in verse 15. Grace. Grace is accessible 24×7. It’s our teflon coating, our armor and protection. Grace empowers us to forgive which repels a sticky seed.
I’ve been convicted. Have you? But…I agree…
This. Is. Hard.
It’s Possible
I believe it’s possible to choose a lifestyle of forgiveness. This means, I relinquish the right to be treated fairly and I release people from my judgement. Ouch. I act swiftly when the seed drops — I don’t nurse it or rehearse it. Empowered by the grace of God, I disperse it.
The enemy’s favorite weapon these days is the bait of offense. He wants there to be division in churches, in homes, friend from friend. He wants to rip us apart and he does it effectively by dropping those small yet insidious seeds. Imagine his delight to see a forest of mature strangler figs knowing of their rotted hosts.
Dear Gracious God, Thank you for your free and accessible grace. Forgive me for expecting it, while being stingy to extend it to others. Thank you for the conviction of your word. But Father, be gracious with me as I attempt to live in peace and be Holy. It is hard! When sticky seeds drop, help me to act swiftly. With a tough hide and a tender heart, help me to choose a lifestyle of forgiveness so that You Lord, are never hidden from view. Amen.
Anne kole says
Wow Debbie! You got me today.
While I don’t reply to little offenses, I remember them. Years ago an aerobics instructor answered a question of mine with a snippy response. It stung. I still remember it and remember being offended. Shame on me for hugging and even enjoying my offense! And yet no matter how often I have offended God, he responds with grace! May God grant me such grace with others. Thank you for reminding me about how much I’ve been forgiven.
debhucke says
Anne, I love that perspective. Yes… forgiven much indeed.
John Reith says
One thing often overlooked in the process of forgiveness is the personal benefit of release. By withholding forgiveness, we often think we are punishing our offender. But in fact, very often our offender is totally clueless of their offense toward us. That being the case, the only person being punished is ourself. How? By my withholding forgiveness I build resentment and bitterness inside of me. This puts me in my own prison of negative emotional bondage. By forgiving my offender, even when they are clueless of their offense and refusing to repent of their actions, I release myself from my own prison of hurt feelings and give the whole matter over to God. It often takes great effort to continue to leave the matter with God. He has His own timetable.
debhucke says
So we’ll said John! The chains are gone! And freedom is ours.
Geraldine Dempsey says
Thank you, life is too short for bitterness.
debhucke says
Indeed!
Wyatt says
God has a plan and he’s getting ready to unleash it soon. People are in to much of a hurry to care about the other. I get in that myself due to my career.
debhucke says
It’s good to remember that He is working even when we don’t see the evidence of It.
Kerry says
Agree, it is definitely becoming an “offensive” culture. It is so very hard for me to practice GRACE consistently. Thank you for the reminder!
debhucke says
It’s hard for me too. But without grace we’re lousy fishers of men/ women!
Martha says
Don’t nurse it. Don’t rehearse it. Disperse it….perfectly succinct. With Gods help I will try to keep these thoughts with me and practice them.
Thank you.
debhucke says
Amen Martha! Me too.
Frida says
Thank you for sharing your story, Debbie. I thanked God for His gift of grace! And who could teach us more about forgiveness than Christ when he prayed from the cross,” Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.”
debhucke says
Exactly. We do have the perfect example… It’s all those but but but that gets in my way. But forgiveness benefits the forgiver as John Reith reminded us. Thanks for chiming in.
Linda Herman says
Debbie,
I agree with your Sticky Seed idea. Thank you! I need to be reminded often about God’s Grace.
Life situations are hard only because I forget that God’s Grace is available constantly. Because of my forgetfulness, when I encounter difficult situations, I sometimes respond inappropriately.
We experienced a devastating Derecho in August of 2020 in our community. We lost about 65% of our tree canopy in the entire community. Clean up will continue for years. I can really relate to the Strangler Fig that you spoke of in this blog. These past two weeks of renewed, continuous, and intense clean up in a heavily damaged wooded area, I have been dealing with a strong devastating vine that is full of liquid sticky sap. It grows in diameter and length and weaves its way around trees and branches that are weak, choking out their upward healthy growth and binding them tightly together. It has been necessary to find source of the vine, cut it at every place reachable, and try to free any of the small trees that have survived the Derecho. It is also necessary to free the dead tree limbs from its grasp, so they can be removed. Just as you showed us, I need to ponder this vine as it relates to my life relationships/encounters.
Thank you Debbie for your blog. As always, your words and related scripture are food for thought and incentive to keep growing.
debhucke says
Wow… you’ve been tangled up with a real living destructive example. Sounds awful. I appreciate you sharing.
Cat McKenzie says
Is it possible to try and remember everyone has a bad day?. We have no idea what is going on in the strangers life when we encounter harsh words, the tone alone can set off our irritation like the match to the Firecracker…..and we respond in kind, especially if we are overwhelmed ,especially if we are frustrated, especially if we are hurting. So is the Checker ,so is the Instructor, so are the Folks who have worked hard all day and are blindsided by even more work stress when they were supposed to be recouping .We all are tested constantly in a million ways and we better get a grip on all of it or get a grip on us and WE will become that Old Curmudgeon no one wants to be near ! God can turn us around if we ask , the power of words, the power a Christian is told many times over in Parabel and Verse to treat others as you would be treared. Simple ? NOT !! But if WE don’t set the example ,who will ? I think of that funny directive…SMILE it confuses the enemy because they don’t know what you’re thinking ! Step back ,take a deep breath, Jesus help me find your Grace…and Smile. Maybe you have to say something in response but let it be kind words. me
Just my rambling thoughts on this wonderful Blog Post, Thanks for the inspiration and an avenue Deb and the Responders above me as well !
debhucke says
Smile… Yes indeed. I like that simple yet effective idea. And I was most definitely convicted by my own bad behavior. I appreciate your comments.
Hannatjie Delport says
I agree on the smile. It always works and you yourself feel better. But , we are all wearing masks these days so nobody smiles or see your smile. I miss the smile of an old lady going out of the shop , the smile of a child at the counter and the smile of a friendly cashier.
debhucke says
Me too. Hannatjie. Now even eye contact is rare. Bring back our faces… thats my prayer. That will go along way in seeing each other and yes, even extending grace.
Emmy Browning says
Wow this was a great one. John Reith stated so much of my feelings. Must let go of a lot of negative feelings.
debhucke says
Yes… Forgiveness is our gift and ticket to freedom. Grateful for John Reith’s clear explanation.
Terri says
This has been most difficult for me lately closest to home. “Disperse” may be my new buzz word. Thanks for new insights into a real problem I face daily. I appreciate you so much.
debhucke says
Awww… Terri. Closest to home makes the lesson even harder. Prayers for you sister.
Joan Schrock says
I have the word “GRACE” at the top of my computer and I see it EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. – multiple times a day! I have a quote for this year: Grace, Grit, Gratitude! Thank you once again for your timely message!
debhucke says
Love that Joan. Perfect combination. GRACE. GRIT. GRATITUDE. Stay the course.
Gina says
Love this, Debbie! I read a great book last summer … Bait of Satan. John Bevere also shares how the state of offense is Satan’s greatest weapon to divide relationships. When I find myself offended I quickly respond with … Not today Satan! I will show grace! How can I not when I think of how offensive I can be to our Savior yet he loves me and shows me grace, patiently maturing my faith and obedience. Keep blogging, friend!
debhucke says
Love that…. Not today satan! Thanks for chiming in. I love book recommendations. 🙂