Isn’t ADULTING a curious term? “The practice of behaving in a way characteristic of a responsible adult, especially the accomplishment of mundane but necessary tasks.”
The word communicates the ‘package deal’ nature of becoming an adult. As if to say you don’t get the independence without the cost. You don’t get the privilege without the responsibility. But what if your age says it’s time, but your body or situation says it’s not.
Ian is desperate for this ‘rite of passage’ and so far it has eluded him. It’s as if he is constantly asking the question… am I there yet?
Waiting for the Not Yet
I realize my example is specific, but our circumstances defy us all the time. Even without a brain injury, we find ourselves in between, waiting for the not yet. Between jobs, between relationships, between now and when our state opens up. We all long to get there.
Sometimes in-between is exciting with anticipation… like the third trimester or a long awaited retirement. But other times we’re just holding on. We’re in between the life we have, and the life we want. In between the diagnosis and the recovery. In between feeling brave and feeling afraid. The space and time in-between can be confusing and demanding. Even though it may feel like a waste of time, it never lets up. In between can be relentless.
Ian’s In-Between
As some of you know, I have been searching and praying for something/ anything to help Ian navigate his unique in-between. Last week he had an interview to assist with a summer kids art program. In his mind, this would be it. This volunteer position would be his ticket and this small first step would mean he arrived. Thankfully it went well and he’ll begin in June. Praise God!
Ian’s jubilation was unmistakable— for a day or two. But then, before news of the new gig was even luke warm, Ian’s discontentment was back. What’s up with that I complained?
It’s a Tease
And then as He often does, God revealed some insight. Getting there, wherever there is, is elusive. It’s a tease. We think getting there will make the difference. But the cliche is true… life is a journey, not a destination. We’re always in-between. And peace and contentment comes when we fully embrace where we are NOW. Besides that, when we’re so preoccupied with getting there, we miss what’s here, right in front of us.
“Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That is why it is called the present.” Alice Morse Earle.
The truth is… what matters most to God is not what we do or where we go but rather who we are becoming along the way.
Be Where your Feet Are
If you’re like me… a doer, a striver, a mover and a shaker, perhaps you need the reminder to be where your feet are. Today is what matters. Now is what matters. God wants to abide with you right where you are. Your in-between is the ideal setting for the Lord to mold you and make you. And His gift for accepting that truth is contentment.
God’s Timing
While working on this blog article I received confirmation. The CWC women’s luncheon originally scheduled for March 2020 will be June 9, 2021. (at Sandia Presbyterian here in ABQ and all are welcome) In preparation for the new day and time, I’d been reviewing my talk from 15 months ago. And… I heard the enemy chide, wow… not much has changed. What do you have to show for all the time that has passed? You’re not there yet? Ouch.
But this time, the enemy didn’t rattle me. Contentment was my armor.
With fresh belief I know that God is fully engaged in my in-between. He is present in my sometimes mundane ordinary life. He is not just hanging out waiting to catch me when I fall. With divine purpose, and intention He is at work, accomplishing something great.
We Will Be Like Him
And He promises that one day… I will get there. How will I know?… I will be like Him.
Psalm 17:15 “…I shall be satisfied when I awake in Your likeness”
Philippians 1:6 …being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
Dear Father, I marvel at your sovereign purpose for the in-between. I confess that so often I’m not where my feet are. Forgive me for my impatience. My mind dwells on the if only of the past or worries about the what if of the future. Help me to be content with the in-between, with now. Lord, thank you that I can trust your promise and someday I will be there. Amen.
Just this morning I asked God why we were ‘still going through this’ and why hadn’t he stopped it (going through a very hurt filled time right now). Thank you for this message to go along with what I believe God spoke to me “I can stop it, but that would not fix it”.
❤️ Lord, grant us patience as you have as we journey in today.
Sorry Deborah. Amen to your insight. Yes… Lord grant us your grace for today.
The in between, for me has become my time on this Earth and my longing to be with Christ. Please don’t read anything terribly serious into this comment. It is just that being with the Lord sounds so enticing as I am doing my best to move into old age gracefully. I feel that the “in between” will be continuous until I see Jesus face-to-face. Thank you for your insight, Debbie, about remembering where my feet are today. And my need to be grateful for every moment God gives me on this Earth. Truly it is a “present”.
I’m right beside you sister. I find myself longing for heaven ALL THE TIME. Maybe that’s because each day we get closer. Or maybe it’s because our relationship with the Lord is maturing and in heaven it will be complete. Debbie
I am learning that life is a journey. Each day is a gift. The destination is not a place; it’s a person, Jesus Christ! When I keep that perspective I cannot help but be grateful, even as I anticipate. And I also am able to savor anticipating earthly blessings put on hold during the pandemic: hugging my children and grandchildren again.
God is good and will bring the good work he began in me to completion in his timing. Love that promise! Thank you Debbie for directing my thoughts today.
I love your stmt. the destination isn’t a place it’s a person! Thank you Anne
When I step over the line into adulthood, I was shocked to learn that ‘adult’ wasn’t a fixed state. I was still learning and changing. It isn’t yes or no, like whether I am married, or graduated from college, or bought a house. It’s totally a sliding scale, nebulous. So, yes, I had a full-time adultish job. Yes I bought a house. But, nope nope nope, I do not want to be the adult who has to decide when it is time to help my dog cross over the rainbow bridge. And, nope nope nope, I do not want to deal with the crib after my toddler pulled off her poopy diaper in the middle of the night. Even now, in my retirement years, I am still learning and changing and getting better at some things, but not feeling like I have figured out this whole adulting thing.
When I consider things, I realize that God may not want us to ever figure out the adulting thing. We thrive best when we realize and admit that we do not need to do it all by ourselves, and do not need to take charge of our lives. We find peace in helping others, and in accepting help. None of us can do it all – and adulting is not a yes/no question.
Love that insight Sheri. I agree…. in fact, I think God knows it’s best we are never in charge. We do best when we depend on Him. And that includes depending on others. When we are weak, He is strong. Thanks for your thoughtful comment.
Thank you for always reminding us of things we know to be true but just can’t seem to hold on to as we get distracted with the stuff of our daily lives. You help us to get back in touch with the truly important things.
Thank you Dorma. We are all such sheep, but thankful to have an ever present Shepherd.
Love the Alice Earle quote.
Me too! ❤️
Way to nail exactly where I’ve been lately!!! God’s been challenging me to stay in the moment with Him! Right where my feet are! In the present and be at peace THERE!!! I’m sharing this with others I know that are in that exact place! God bless you! And your message at that luncheon will be spot on!!!
Oh Berta…. thank you friend. We are His handiwork and definitely not yet completed!
Oh, Debbie, Your article today hit me straight between the eyes, however. the “curious term” for me translated to “parenting” which is a facet of adulting. God was able to apply all the principles and points to my specific place in my journey of life right now. The word that specifically spoke to me was contentment as I will pray the prayer you wrote every day several times for at least a weak. “Dear Father, I marvel at your sovereign purpose for the in-between. I confess that so often I’m not where my feet are. Forgive me for my impatience. My mind dwells on the if only of the past or worries about the what if of the future. Help me to be content with the in-between, with now. Lord, thank you that I can trust your promise and someday I will be there. Amen.” Thank you for this transparent and honest prayer.
Glenda
Oh Glenda, we are so unequipped without the Lord! But with Him, you are the ‘perfect’ one for the job. Thank you for your comment. Debbie
When I wake up each morning in “the in between “ , I am ever so grateful for another day. Curious about the coming days but know it’s going to be ok in his hands.
That’s a wise perspective! Thanks Emmy.