If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy. I used to squirm at the mention of that phrase, until I had to admit it’s often shameful truth. We mothers, make it our business to be in everyone else’s business. When one in our keep, which often stretches beyond the confines of our home, is hurting, mama hurts. And when mama hurts, she also ain’t happy. Before you know it, ain’t nobody happy.
The Dark Cloud
When Ian lost his job after only a few short weeks, he was understandably depressed. But it didn’t end there. An oppressive dark cloud hung over our home which for me anyway, seemed to suck the oxygen out of the air. Hard to breathe, life felt heavy. And the harder I tried to help Ian out of the pit, the deeper I made the hole for all of us.
Tell me I’m not the only one who has tried to fix someone she loves?
Failing to fix Ian did not slow my striving. Oh no. But clouded by darkness, my energy was negative; my creativity zapped. It’s no surprise that all of my well intentioned efforts were completely useless and even counterproductive.
Desperate
I prayed… no ranted. “Jesus, I need you! I’m out of ideas what can I do now? I cannot keep living under this dark cloud.” Silence.
“If I don’t help Ian, who will?” Silence.
“With a demanding demeanor… Lord, seriously, what can I possibly do?” SILENCE
Finally after days of frustration, I sensed the Holy Spirit. His guidance was NOT what I expected, but guess what I heard Him say… wait for it…
”Go, enjoy Pickleball.”
In desperate need of an escape, I didn’t wait for clarification. I went. Under a cloudless blue sky, my spiraling thoughts were diverted to a hole-y yellow whiffle ball.
Is it pride that makes me feel indispensable as Ian’s mother and guardian? It’s true he doesn’t have the tools to figure out what’s next for himself, but why do I assume it’s exclusively up to me? Forgive me Lord.
The diversion that morning was exactly what was needed. Childlike play. And most importantly, I was able to look up and not see darkness.
But… there’s more.
I was randomly partnered with a new player Janine, whose carefree and infectious personality made up for her ‘newbie’ play. After our quick laughter-filled defeat we chatted while waiting for the next round. “I’m an elementary school art teacher,” she offered lightheartedly. “I’m all over the place, my memory lets me down, I can’t concentrate for long, so I only work part time. But, I’m so much better than I used to be.”
Somewhat guarded I responded, “I know something about all over the place, memory challenged artists. I’m the mom and guardian of a 25 year old brain injured one.”
And then the pieces began to fall into place. Janine, had her accident the year Ian was born. A traumatic brain injured peer with a shocking story, had been hand selected to cross my path precisely when she did. She was evidence of God’s compassionate concern for the details in my life. Not only a success story, but the perfect example of God’s ability to do immeasurably more. Our encounter was no coincidence, but rather a divine appointment, and arranged specifically to encourage me.
But… there’s more.
More than the gift of a long-overdue reset, the Holy Spirit provided some critically timed revelation. I am NOT indispensable. And…forgive my directness, neither are you. The way I see it, that inevitable truth is by design. In spite of what we may think, it is not up to us to make it happen.
The fact is, God had been working behind the scenes. But because I was unable to imagine a next step without my own sweat and tears, I had boxed Him in. Because of my limited imagination, I was limiting Him. Thankfully, the Lord busted out of my box and over the next week I could only watch in confounded amazement at the Lord’s immeasurably more…
Ephesians 3:20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us. 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
Now out of the way
You won’t believe what happened within days!
- Ian interviewed for a position in an elementary after school program
- Was offered the job that day
- Hired by a contractor with a special grant for underfunded schools gave them flexibility
- The position was created around Ian’s skills.
- Ian gets to teach elementary school kids art for two hours each afternoon
- Pickle-ball Janine offered to be Ian’s personal experienced advisor.
Ian has been in this dream job for only a few days, but the dark cloud has lifted.
I have no idea if it will last as Ian’s abilities will definitely be stretched. But… next time I whine about wondering what is next … you have my permission to remind me of God’s faithfulness. As cliche as it sounds, this life of faith is a journey not a destination.
Dear Sovereign Lord, Faithful you have been and faithful you will be. I confess that too often I attempt to solve my problems in my own strength and then turn to you as my last resort. Thank you that it’s not up to me to make “it” happen. Please help me to remember that I’m NOT indispensable. I’m so grateful for Your abundant grace that gives me chance upon chance and wants to bless me with immeasurably more. Lord, help me to welcome Your complete reign in my life. I love you, Jesus. Amen.
Deb,
Thanks for sharing. I have a mentally ill son on the spectrum (high functioning) who, at 24 provides constant challenges and we (myself, my husband and other son) are all going through some very tough times. We have been for awhile. I had a similar experience of meeting someone who was sent at just the right time. My son plays piano and it was high time to get the piano tuned. I searched on-line and found a woman for the job. She seemed very nice as we met in person. Before she started to tune, she wanted to share with me something that happened to her within the past year because it often makes her cry unexpectedly. Her son had committed suicide. My own son has threatened suicide and been hospitalized in a mental hospital. We cried together and (I hope) share a bond that even if we don’t see each other very often, we think of each other and know we are not alone.
Thank you for taking the time to share. God sees… doesn’t He? Amen to your heroic service in parenting your son.
I’m laughing…I’m crying…I have goosebumps at the thought of God’s goodness! Thank you, Debbie for sharing this incredibly encouraging story. And, yes, I can relate to this…just a little! 🙂
Love you, sister!
Thank you Joanie. Miss you my friend.
To God be the glory great things He has done. That song immediately came to me as I was reading our story. Yes, your story is mine too. My daughter is in recovery after years of alcohol abuse. She would not admit it for years until her health became an issue. She like Ian needs daily prayer. God is faithful
Woohoo Gerrie. I hear it now, to God be the glory great things He has done!
What an amazing God story!! I love how He continues to go before you and Ian and pave the way to His next step in Ian’s life!
I love how well you’ve described my mother-control and how I can get in God’s way!! His ways are always better!! I’m still learning this lesson!!
His way is always better. Thank goodness for His grace.
Incredible! God saw your suffering and Ian’s. The way he orchestrated your pickle ball partner was clear evidence of his faithfulness. And the ensuing events encourage me too. Ian’s new job sounds tailor-made for him, but of course God knows Ian inside and out! I rejoice for him and will be praying for him.
I’m glad you can take a deep breath and praise God with a thankful heart! Praying for you too.????
Thank you Anne. Yes… I think this round I sensed God’s special care FOR ME.
My prayer has been that God will make a place for Ian to share his talent. What a great event you described Debbie, for both of you.
My, my, we have an amazing Savior, if we’d just get out of His way.
Amen Liz. Yes, get out of His way. Oh why do I have to remediate this concept so often?!!!
What an inspiring life event Debbie! God is so good, so timely, so surprising! The fact that he lead you to pickle ball that day, at that time, with that person is a perfect story of His amazing hand at work in our lives. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you Betsy. Yes, I love how kind and surprising that was.
Here is what came to my mind….Thank you God for your faithfulness and provision even if it is not in our timeframe. Next time something goes wrong with Ian (and chances are good it probably will) walk out that door and say “Have a good day Ian, I love you” and go play pickleball, call a friend (hope it’s me) and say “let’s do something crazy fun today!” Why,? Because God’s Got This!! LOL
With love.
Karen
Indeed Karen. Ha!
Love love love this Debbie, thank you for sharing … and Go Ian ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you dear Meg.
Love this and hearing all about how God shows up faithfully in your lives!
Amen Linda. Yes He does. Miss you. Debbie
This was amazing and so resonated with me. What a gift and Holy Spirit calling you have. The Lord has inspired you to remind us that we must surrender and follow Him and trust He loves those we love more than we ever can and knows their and our needs more clearly that we do.
Amen Dennis. He does care about the big and the little. I’m glad to know it resonated with you. Thanks.
Such an inspiring message. I wish Ian much success …. Which will hopefully lead to a sense of calm in the Hucke house. Someone once shared with me …. God sends people into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime .
Kay… I love that thought… a reason, a season, a lifetime. Great to hear from you.
Debs, what an absolutely amazing story! That was all so incredible. Why is it that God solves so many problems for us, and we tend to forget that he does have a plan, and he is always watching over us. Thank you for always sharing your incredible miracles. You are a blessing to so many!!!!!
Thank you my friend. I appreciate your kind encouragement.
Wow. What an awesome message. So happy for all of you. God blesses us in so many ways.
Thank you Emmy. Yes, he does!!!
The Creator is still creating.
Amen to that. Thanks, Ruthie.
Such a powerful testimony! Just what I needed! Beautiful! So happy for all of you!
Thank you Cinda.
A great example/reminder of how faithful God is. What I needed to hear as I wait and wonder.
Greetings to Ian.
Thank you.
It was reminder to me, too! Thanks Martha.