Ha! Timing is everything. Ironic that my last blog entry spoke of our peaceful home. God sure has a sense of humor. I don’t believe in superstition, but it is kind of eerie that within 24 hours of my claim, all HELL broke loose.
The perfect storm
Brain injuries are unpredictable. An idle day, some bad news about his short film endeavor, and isolation for my social, extroverted ginger, all came together in a perfect storm. A ten on the Richter scale. Hysteria. Ian had a bad day. A very bad day. And whatever I said or did made things worse. Even disengaging was like a cup of water on a blazing fire.
Doug came home from work. He tried to help the cause, but instead, things escalated. The evening was awful. Can’t even write about it — awful.
Since Ian’s accident, the priorities in our family have been completely reorganized. My work, our vacation schedule, our family meals, our dreams and plans…. everything. Ian doesn’t see that. Instead he sees mom and dad as his enemy. We are the road block and get the blame. We are the reason for his misery. Even if deep down he knows that isn’t true… his behavior says otherwise. It is heartbreaking.
After Ian’s failed attempt to get an Uber and leave home, he lay outside on a patch of grass, ‘cooling off’ in the 100+ degree heat. Doug and I prayed. Spent and powerless, that was all we had left.
Eventually, Ian came inside. Three wounded zombies co-existing under one roof. In that moment, it was impossible to imagine reconciliation. Regret hung heavy in the air.
And then… Grace entered! She didn’t barge in with a shout, “Surprise!” Instead, she was invited in by prayer, no doubt. She was gentle, but obvious. In stark contrast to the #$%& that had decimated all three of us, Grace seemed to say, I’ll take it from here. It was palpable. Apologies were flowing in all directions. Hugs were meaningful. And conversation was dense with love and purpose. It was like a soft rain in this parched Albuquerque desert. It cooled things off and very gradually breathed life into each one of us.
Romans 5:20, like a full length movie, played out in the Hucke home.
Romans 5:20 “Where sin abounded grace abounded much more.”
I struggle with any explanation of how you too, can get a visit from Grace. This is what I’ve concluded…. First, I think she has to be a familiar friend. Lets just say, she knew our gate code and has a key. Second, you have to be willing to generously administer the gifts she brings. On this occasion she had liberal amounts of forgiveness and understanding. Third, and in my mind the hardest of all, you have to give up any strength you think you can offer because she does her best work fueled by your brokenness.
2 Corinthians 12:9 . “My Grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
The ones you love the most, are the ones you hurt the most. I’m guessing, you know that to be true as well.
THANKFULLY, there is good news. Where sin abounded, grace abounded much more. And yes, Grace was sufficient. Things are not perfect. But we are hunkered down to survive this storm together. And we are protected by supernatural Grace. I think this should be the Hucke theme song. I know it is on repeat in my mind! GRACE WINS EVERY TIME!
#Godsgotthis Debbie Hucke
Wow! Grace, in the midst of a storm. Your words are so very powerful this morning, Debbie.
I have no idea what it would be like to go through what you and your family are experiencing, but I can relate when stress, breeding storms, happen in my family’s lives. Tempers flare, words are said that cannot be taken back–but–there is God, Grace, forgiveness, healing-till it happens again. But, less frequently because of awareness of God and His Grace, and stepping back.
I cannot thank you enough for sharing, Debbie. I know I truly receive a gift every time I read your words. Grace and peace and God’s love.
Debbie Hucke says
Thanks Ginger. Grace WINS every time. 🙂
Lisa Thomas says
Debbie Hucke says
Prayers for your family Lisa!
Debbie Hucke says
Liz Bass The last year of Bob’s life, we ended each day with shouts and wringing hands and lots of tears. We had a lady who had helped me with Bob by taking him to appointments I didn’t have to go to, getting him dressed in the morning, and just helping him when I was doing something else. Yes, she made me get out for golf or bridge. One day, because grace definitely needed a visit, she said to me, “Liz, let me come and get Bob ready for
bed and then you two can just snuggle and talk about your day. What a gift that was. Debbie what you are in right now is a whole big test for your human natures. We do fail,
but you have the best tool at your disposal. You are in a marathon, you won’t always
be able to check your emotions or just throw them off. I know you don’t want to fail.
Cut yourself some slack, know there are times you can’t control, do the best you
can add just let God hold your hand tight.
Extra hugs for you, Liz
Gail Cooley says
Oh Debbie, there are not words. I felt your pain and the joy Grace brought. Your words are eloquent and truly share the raw emotion. I continue to pray for you all in this incredible struggle you are living. I believe you will be victorious, by God’s grace!
Gail, You have been such a faithful pray-er. We are grateful.
Thank you Debbie for bringing us into your world. We love your writing and are so very encouraged by what you share.
Thank you friend. So pleased to know it helps others.
Thank you for sharing your downs, ups, and hope in faith through your journey. I so get it.
Yes YOU do get it. Thanks for trudging along. Debbie
Dawn J says
Wow. Such powerful and thought provoking insights, Debbie – the power of God’s grace at work in the life of your family. God has definitely got this, for you, for Ian, for Doug. …and for all of us weak and wonderful human beings. Even the word itself, grace, is beautiful. Love saying it and love hearing about it in your lives.
Yes… Grace is the sweetest. Amen and amen.