Becca is home
With Becca home for Christmas we are stretching all of the boundaries of our beautiful, cozy but downsized New Mexico home. Before her arrival, I already faced the realization that when you downsize your home, you must downsize your Christmas decor too.
Her car remains mostly packed while our garage is stuffed to the gills. She has spread out in Doug’s office that doubles as our guest bedroom. With Doug displaced, his office has become our kitchen table.
After clearing out the art building on campus, Ian’s bedroom can’t possibly house his many large canvas paintings. They line the hallway and spill over to decorate our garage. A bigger than life-sized self portrait and a massive three scened painting of the loch ness monster can’t simply be taped to the frig.
Embracing the Mess
I’m embracing the mess. It is real life and untidy. I love it. And, I’ve decided, it’s an accurate picture of my heart this season.
Part OCD, part control freak, part my Mother’s daughter, I prefer to live orderly. I’m guilty of rearranging the dishwasher when it isn’t ‘right’. My freezer is not a black hole. The vegetables and healthy options go in the bin on the left, and meat and less healthy options, on the right. The top drawer feature is my fave to collect the homemade pesto, fruit, herbs, ginger and other healthy frozen treasures. Even the kitchen junk drawer has dividers to assist with the quick retrieval of the proper battery or a screwdriver.
While my organization obsession may work within my kitchen, allow it to spill into the rest of my life, where I encounter complicated circumstances and other people with opinions, quirks and foibles and all #### hits the fan. Circumstances and other people simply don’t yield as obediently. I know this, because I’ve tried.
Christmas according to Hallmark
Who else enjoys Hallmark Christmas movies? Guilty. How can you not love their predictability and their satisfying resolution. One thing you can count on, nothing too complicated or stressful will happen. Or if it does happen it will be resolved before the end. Life is all so very neat and tidy, so “happily ever after.” Tied up in a perfect Christmas bow.
I’ve attempted to watch a few this year, but to my surprise, cynicism kicked in almost immediately. At first I thought it was my bah-humbug husband rubbing off on me. But after further consideration, I think it’s my new enhanced lens molded by tough circumstances that has influenced me.
Did you know there is actually a Hallmark app. For the unaware, the app informs you with the what and the when a film is playing. But my favorite feature is the ‘Feel-Good-Moment’ which is included at the end of the film’s synopsis. I envision that this is that moment when the viewer will tilt her head and sigh, “ahhhh” with satisfying approval.
Here are just a few especially syrupy examples.
A Christmas Detour. Feel Good Moment — “Paige realizes she is meant to be with Dylan as the perfect snowy backdrop reunites them.”
Miss Christmas. Feel Good Moment — “Wearing the perfect Christmas sweaters, Sam and and Holly share a joyful dance at the town’s festival.”
Sleigh Bells Ring. Feel Good Moment — “Laurel and David take a break from renovating the sleigh to warm up and catch up over a cup of coffee.”
From A Less Tidy Perspective
As much as I love Christmas traditions and nostalgia the fantasy ‘feel good moments’ no longer sit right with me. As I think about all the other fun ’holiday happenings’ the cookie baking, the decorations, the shopping, the lights, the gifts, they can all serve that same purpose whether Christian or secular. They can distract us and make it easy to take our eyes off the untidy, but real Christmas. They can even try to replace it. Isn’t it strange that the very traditions we rely on to remember and honor the birth of Jesus can actually undermine His presence in our hearts?
Whether we admit it or not, I believe we all, at one time or another, face an undeniable truth. Our own fragility and/or the fragility of the people we love makes Christmas untidy. At the very least our Christmas experience is layered with a lot of different emotions. Love. Sadness. Wonder. Heartache. Fear. Disappointment. Joy.
Christmas was and is UNTIDY
The Christmas Story Luke 1:26-38.
For some grounding perspective consider the real Christmas story that took place in Bethlehem so many years ago.
Pregnancy before marriage is not even a little jaw dropping today, but for two pious Jews in the first century this was a crisis of unbelievable magnitude. Definitely untidy.
And the ‘no room at the Inn’ is no small insignificant detail. The King of the Jews, the Messiah, the Christ would be born in a feeding trough. Preposterous.
I’m confident that Mary and Joseph on that first Christmas in Bethlehem felt many of the same emotions we feel today. Love. Sadness. Wonder. Heartache. Fear. Disappointment. Joy.
Even the Christmas hymn O Little Town of Bethlehem, written by Phillip Brooks in 1865, suggests as much. “The hopes and fears of all the years, Are met in Thee tonight.” The “Thee”, and the One we sing about, was not limited to ancient Palestine or a stable in Bethlehem. That One is available to us.
PHEW. With a great sense of relief, I am thankful to adjust my expectations. Christmas is not neat and tidy, or resolved with a satisfying big red bow. It wasn’t then. And it isn’t today. It is messy, real and miraculous all wrapped up in the same event. And it represents just a beginning.
The Promise of Advent
Advent means “coming.” For Christians, advent focuses on both the ‘back-then’ and the ‘not-yet.’ From both vantage points we remember His gifts of HOPE, LOVE, JOY and PEACE.
- Back-then — Yes, we look back at the miraculous historical event and the coming of baby Jesus.
- Not-yet — We also pause to remember His promise of a second coming. And we prepare for His return.
In all of the miraculous, messy untidy-ness, Jesus is coming again to finish business. He assures us, that THIS, life here on earth, is not all there is.
Matthew 1:23 “Look! The virgin will conceive a child! She will give birth to a son, and they will call him Emmanuel, which means ‘God is with us.'”
While Israel would have sung the song in expectation of Christ’s first coming, today the church sings the song in commemoration of that first coming AND in expectation of His second coming.
O come, O come, Emmanuel,
And ransom captive Israel,
That mourns in lonely exile here
Until the Son of God appears.
Rejoice! Rejoice!
Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.
A Christmas Prayer
Lord, in spite of the season’s distractions help us to remember that this is all the dress rehearsal. Especially for those of us in a fragile place, please help us to remember that your gifts of Christmas are eternal. Hope, Love, Joy and Peace. In the meantime, be with us Emmanuel.
The Hallmark 2018 Blockbuster
The Untidy Hucke Christmas. Feel Good Moment — Remembering with gratitude their Craig Hospital Christmas last year. Lingering meal time with both kids at home. Hectic advent preparations and services. Perspective that the best is yet to come.
Merry Christmas,
Debbie Hucke
Thank you for the reminder that it is okay for Christmas to be messy! Mine most certainly is this year: college kids, unexpected guests coming, plans changing…and changing again! We so wish we could be at Sandia for your services, but know we are celebrating your Christmas this year with a much healthier Ian!! Merry Christmas from West Texas, y’all!!!😜❤️😜
Thank you West Texas McKinney’s. Congratulations to your college graduate! And thanks for celebrating with us a much healthier Ian. We miss y’all! Debbie
yes Debbie We have made Christmas untidy, I love your writing. I feel as though you are writing to me alone. Thank You Thank You, tonight where I am on the East coast of Florida we have has a severe wind storm, so much so that many of us have closed our Hurricane shutters just” in case” but I know I am safe in the arms of Jesus, he has come to me in a very personal way this last year and I am peaceful and not a bit untidy. I am deeply Blessed until He calls me Home. Come Emmanuel Come.
Love and Hugs to all the Huckes
anne
YAY! I’m delighted my ramblings strike a chord with you. God is indeed amazing to have knitted us as he has. Come Emmanuel Come!
Merry Christmas, Debbie. I loved the remarks about the Hallmark Movies as I have been watching them, also. I love the clean and complete nice and tidy endings. It sure is different than life! But, I love a good romantic, family story for the comfort and simplicity. Yes, things can get hectic, crazy, but as we celebrate each year, I am finding it easier to simplify our decorations, baking, etc. I do not have to do it all! Some is fine.
We enjoy gatherings and keep busy but time to unwind is so important. I miss our granddaughter , son and daughter inlaw and not seeing them but we have facetime. My granddaughter calls me herself from time to time, just to visit. So thankful for that connection. We are so thankful for all we have and are blessed.
God bless you and your family are doing well. A disorganized house is a small thing compared to a family that is happy to be together and enjoying this time or year. So greatful Ian is better, than this time last year, too.
God Bless, Ginger
Amen to a simpler Christmas. Soak in His presence. Blessings to your family too. Debbie
Even though I’m not commenting, I’m reading. I’m working (yes, it’s work, as you know!) on my book, Jim and Mary’s Excellent Adventure: A Memoir of Love and Adult Asperger’s, and having started all over, I feel it is better than the first tries.
I love your writing! You are a natural! Keep it up!
YAY Mary! That is great news! We are overdue to have coffee. Let’s connect in the new year. I’d love to see where you are with your writing and I’d love to update you too! Have a blessed Christmas. Debbie
Debbie, this ‘wordy woman’ has absolutely nothing to add to this writing except AMEN!! I love love love your writings! As I read this one, I couldn’t help but remember another very untidy Christmas in a small, small apartment … yet you shared hope, love, joy and peace with me. So now I say to you, Doug, Ian and Becca…Hope, Love, Joy and Peace to you all.
Oh sweet Marj! I remember that humble Christmas. Christmas dinner around a card table as I recall. Hope love joy and peace right back your way. Miss you!!! Much love, Debbie
The messy Fraser Christmas
Ben still writing reports on due date.
Girlfriend coming to stay for 3 nights before Christmas.
Charis home- feel good moment. The upheaval moment should hit soon.
Family and 2 dogs coming Christmas Day to stay over.
I volunteered to work Christmas Eve. why?!
Ok so not a hallmark Christmas but still looking forward to it and all the unexpected that is bound to come.
Have a lovely Christmas surrounded with family and their mess. Wishing you Joy this Christmas.
Mags
PS dividers in your junk drawer. I would like to argue that it is not then a junk drawer.
Miss you Frasers! I love being in and among your mess. SOmehow you make it feel more comfortable. My junk drawer is quite exceptional. 🙂
Perfect. You captured the chaos we are living and put it in perspective. Thank you.
Merry Christmas Waye’s. May you feel a sense of greater purpose for inviting much of the chaos you have.
I feel my Christmas has always been Untidy. It seems it gets more untidy every year. This year is a hard one again with my daughter being deployed for the 3rd Christmas, but she loves her job in the military and I support her. We will travel to Boston to spend a little more then a week with my son, his wife and my granddaughters. I so love being with them, but it’s not in my control. My OCD is in full overdrive and I have to try and control it and keep telling myself, This is not my house, this is how they do things, this is not my house, step back! SO. HARD. Things are not in place, I can not control it and I stress. I think of my daughter and it makes me sad. I think of my granddaughters and it makes me happy. I think of being in someone else’s home and not being in control and it makes me crazy! I have never really been a fan of Christmas except for the true meaning of Christmas, I am sad how in this world we have moved away from that true meaning. With everyday I just keep asking HIM to help me get through each day and to bring my daughter home safely. God Bless, Merry Christmas to you and your family. I too will be okay with HIS help.
You describe the full gamut of emotions. But clinging to your help. Sounds like a winning solution. Prayers for your daughter.
I love your realness and transparency of your life. Thanks for the reminder to focus on Jesus and his arrival was anything but neat yet exactly how God planned it. Thanks for reminding me to relax and enjoy the moment with gratitude even in its messiness.
Amen. Yes… exactly as He planned it. You can’t fully appreciate the influence your family has had on my faith. Merry Christmas Pitzers.
What a great reminder that Christmas doesn’t need to look like we expect and it never has.
Amen. Josie. Merry Christmas to your family.
You know, Debbie, if you were truly “OCD” it would be “CDO”–alphabetical order, of course! LOL!! So thankful you are all together at home, chaos and all. Very thankful for each of you. Have a wonderful Christmas, loving our Saviour.
Ha! Yes… we are thankful to be together too. And no long distance traveling. YAY! Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Another powerful, timely message Debbie. Your comments regarding Hallmark movies made me smile. I’ve been enduring them for two months. I think I have the plots down: girl meets boy, girl or boy leaves town to pursue dream job, things don’t work out, so boy/girl returns to their charming hometown and boy/girl have loving embrace.
Merry Christmas to you and your wonderful family !!
Dave Gring
Ha! Yes… you’ve got the plot down. Enjoy your Christmas with your family too. So thankful to be “officially” connected.
Debbie,
Thank you so much for your message of realignment. My life & family is definitely not like a Hallmark movie at all and to be truthful I sometimes mourn the messiness, wishing for just a little more Hallmark-ish life. But then I remind myself that none of this has been a surprise for God and I’m right where I’m supposed to be. I am truly thankful for His blessings and the place I’m at. Wishing the Hucke’s a wonderful Christmas!
Thanks Renata for your comment. Don’t we all want a little less mess and a little more “white picket fence”! Thankful you recognize his blessings through it all.
Thank you again, Debbie! As usual, you point me toward what is really important. As I prepare for kids and grandkids to visit from CA, I have sometimes felt overwhelmed. I want everything to be perfect!! Of course it won’t be, but hopefully the love of Jesus will wrap us up and shine brightly in the merry chaos. Merry Christmas to you and your family. Love you!
May He shine brightly! Don’t miss it in your striving! MUch love, Debbie
Wow, you hit the nail on the head about Christmas. It is messy and we need to embrace it. I too stop watching Hallmark because it was unrealistic. If we enjoy the people during this season and remember what it is about then nothing but smiles will come. Well done!
Amen to a messy Christmas forever and ever, Amen. THanks for your comment.
Thank you, Debbie for the reminder it is ok to celebrate The birth of Christ with an untidy Christmas.
This past two years have been tough ones but we still count our blessings and remember it is not about us
or about getting everything done we think has to be done. Hopefully the cookie dough will get baked into cookies sometime this year.
Knowing what you and your family have lived through this past year and a half we feel humble how God loves, cares and answers prayers, truly and inspiration for us.
Our son, Russ, is getting better from back surgery, we are celebrating here in Mesa AZ with him, answered prayer for sure. We will miss all of you but
HAVE YOUR SELF A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS, Debbie, Doug, Becca and Ian.
Sounds like you’re in the perfect place to celebrate. Merry Christmas to all of you!